'Ello mi furry fwrends.

I iz Mr Winston ant I iz a 5 yeer old, blak & whyt springee spagnol. I az deesided to maike mi own fred in ere az I fink yoo hoomans shud get to heer a mor aboot dhe wai uz spagnols fink.

I wil start wiv mi introdooksion. I az livd wiv mi mom sinse I wuz 9 munfs old. I av a big sissta corld Dinks who iz a bit bossee. I av no man bitz ant mi mom finks I iz a lickel bit effemenit but yoo can maik oup yoor own heeds wen yoo heer mi storees.

Dhis iz mee on mi hummok in dhe gardin :





I wil start mi storee wiv yesturday.

We wented foor a wark over dhe feelds ant I wuz vwery gud az I duz not lik to get mi poors vwery muddy. Dinks wuz a bit meerderuss az she dedded a wabbit (wich woz a bit poorly) AND SHE GOT A JIANT WORM FING.

Mom woz not vwerry peesed as dhe wormee fing woz a poisunus snake. It wus qwite big ant Dinks bort it over but we fort it woz dedded too, frum dhe shock ov beein in Dinks mowf ant er shakin it abowt.

Wen we got bak home, Dinks started to coff ant chook ant eet gras lik a whorse. Mom corld Antee F whoo cam rownd wiv er box of stuf. Dinks ad to av sum steroods ant sum anteebyoticks ant a fermomeeter oup er bot tom. Nowon cud find a bited part on er ant I fort she ad joost swolod a burr fing.

She iz ok but gav evreeone a frit ant I woz a bit scard too!

Later, Da-da ataked us wiv dhe skissors ant Dinks az a Beckum Bob fing going on wiv er lugs. Dhe burr fings are quit big ant prikerlee ant maid Dinks ears stik in funee waies. I spent a foo ours chooing dhe mud frum mi poors, rollin it in mi mowf ant dhen spittin it on dhe flore (dhat Mom ad woshed dhat mornin).


Ar wee normul spagnols? I iz cureeus............peez let me no


Edited to corekt mi wubbish speeling

'Ello Mr Winston, its me Sam!

First Millie wants to say 'ello and sends you kisses .

I haven't ever seen a Jiant Wurm but I want to send lots of Cas Sam Ova Kisses for the beautiful Dinker ! I think it would have been waaaaay to scarey for me to go near it.

Did you your Aunty F make Dinks all better now?

I wanted to ask you somefing tho..... mum says that you have fosters at your house which means strange dogs living with you for a while.... how do you put up with it? Coz I have a problem.

Sometimes when we is all snuggled up with mum someone knocks on the door and she disappears outside, I shout and shout for her to come back in but when she does she smells of my friend Harvey. I have tried all my tricks to remind her I am still her bes-*test*-('") boy but why does she do it?

Milllie is drooling over your picture now and wants mum to print it off to put above her bed so I have to go now.

Big manly woofs and lip curls
Sam (Oh yes and Millie and Mum too xxx)

Ello Winston,

it is gooods two ave some stuff on ere from de springies us selves. I fi nk de growd up spend faaarrr to longs on ere yapping at each over about rubbish stuff like trainin and working an stuff. I also finks some of dem spends way two longs in the bar ere.

I was a bit scaredy whens I red your story, I fought it was a spooky story at first bit it ad a appy endin so I was very pleased. Don't get me wrongs I is a very brave dog, I aint scared of nuffin but that sounds likes a very very big worms and i isn't never seed one dat big.

I does fink you is nromal springers, sounds likes you always makes sure dat your mum has a full and exciting day. If we woz just normal dogs den our mums wouldn't ave tales to tell each other and fun stuffs to talk about and der lifes would bees borin.

As for de introdooctions I is Marley the Sock Monster. I is over oned year old and I as been livin wif Jen since I was 7 months old. I don't knows whyd i moves ere now but I finks I kinda likes it. When I sin't liking stuff I showes Jen me teefs, dis doesn't works so good anymore as it did coz Jen's doen;t seems scared of me big scary toofs!

Sam I dunna understood, whys does your mum comin in smellin of Harvey? where is Harvey?

Oh and Winston I finks you ammock is ace, I gunna as Father Christmas for one!

Just spotted de baby gate as been lefted open .....have to go, beds to remake!

Marlster

hiyas winston,

I iz gona type dis as Georgie da stoopid one is naff at all dis compooter things. We as liveded ere since we woz lckle poopies. I was firs-*test*-('") ere as i is the oldest'd an cleverer. I is over a year olds now and me iz mad about these things called socks..in my ohnest opinions they is grea-*test*-('") when mum and dad as been wearin em alllll day longs. Mum trys er bes-*test*-('") to get em off me but i do my stropyest'd face and shows her me ain happy..tut...she still gets em back though...eventuallys I also likes to roll in things like moles and stuff that are deaded they makes me smell all nice.
Georgie,well she is...stoopid and soft and scareded about...like...nefing yeh!She likes anything that is left round at our favoroitist park..like these things hoomans call plastic botools or summin. Shes just one whole year old and a stoopid youngsterer, i likes to think i is teachin her well about doing these fun springy antics. its very true wivout us rond dees hoomans wud be soooo borin and stuff I love georgie reaaaally i jus dnt tell er init hehe!

I fink u iz gorgous by the ways but dont tell ne ones they will fink im soft and stuff!

BYEE for nows,
Ellie

Aalreet Mr Winston, its Daisy heor ah thowt ah betta post as Nelly an Snowy cant reach the lap top not even when mam goes oot , ah bet yer mam wez scared yesturday yee hev te keep hor on hor toes yee knaa ne canny good those humans thinking wor just normal dogs .
As yee may hev guessed ahm a Geordie dog an ah live wi me 2 geordie sisters Nelly whee is a springer an Snowy whee is a softy stafford and wheyaye those other smal humans, ah herp yee hev a good day the dayuh Mr Winston an keep yer mam on hor toes im sure sheh loves aal the excitement !
love
Daisy x

elllooooo Winston-doggeeeee,

Kay-Lun ear.

Marlon wantz to sendz hiz luve butt cannt't reech. Marlon hee dressded oop az a bride an hee lookd silleeeee.

I onlee a Cavalier az yoo knowww alreddy, but I livz wiv fiv ovver dogz like mee. 2 r sisters an 3 r bruvvers. Knot weel bruvvers ov coarse butt dopted by me mam.

I iz hansum, and I does havs pawly hart, sew I takz menny tabletts. I iz 7 and one whole half. One ov mee sizters is 7 and 'leven 12 bits. Shee iz a funneeee cullor butt she sez shee iz orburn all ovver. Mam say she be 8 nex monff.

Me dont likz wormz .

Teall yor Dinkz too beee gud gal nex tim an knot scarey yoo 'gin.

Luv
Kay-Lun

Herrow Winstun Old Chap

Hector here, Mum calls me The Noble Sir Hector, coz I iz really proud and dem hoomans say I iz a loof - whatever a loof iz. I ave only lived wiv my Mum since March but loves her lots .

I ave to share wiv dem two uver dogs called Millie and Lucy. Millie is suppozed to be a workin springy but I've nevver seen her do any work. She is an hidiot wiv de attenshon span ov a nat Dat uvver dog, Lucy iz not bad she's not bossy like Mills but barks alot and duz norty fings like running off from Mum and rolling in fox poo. I'd nevver do dat coz I iz noble.

Mum letz me use the puter to do my speshal reports on fings the hoomans like to hear about. I iz pretty good and got an hobedience rozet at the Pawz in Da Park fingy. I don't do many silly fings - well I did accidently wee on my fave toy once but we won't talk about vat

I az to go now coz I fink my Dad as come home and I ave to go and greet im at the door wiv a toy and a waggy tail.

Love Hector

PS coz you is a speshal mate you can call me Heckie

Deer Fwreends,

Fank yoos fur yoor repleyes. I wil now putt mi prooblum solvin heed on.........

Sam Am,
I dus nut cee why yoo iz so oupset. Dus Arvey cum roond yoor ouse and pee on yoor prise winnin flours lik yoos did to me??? Dus he shoo ov his bitz by cokking hiz leg lik yoos dus to me??? Me finks yoos shud get over it or yoor mommy wil thro yoo owt ant yoo wil ave to cum ant live ere wiv me
Cerealously, I fink yoo ar a bit insectcure ant yoos shud all get togever in a big open feeled ant run ant run ant run dhen go bak to yoor fur tee. Yoor Mommy luvs yoo vwerry mouch ant yoos shud try ant remember ow yoos fealt BM (befur Mommy). Arvey joost needs yoo to bee is frweend.

Heckie, Iz dhe Loocy stil singal?

Dinks iz now mouch beeta but dhe steeroods ave maid her a bit mor madder dhan normul. She triyed to attak dhe postee todai

I iz now ov fur mi tee- I finks it mite be sum hooman booble & sqeek az I put mi slobber on it eerliar wen it woz on dhe kitchun side . Me finks M&D mai be goin owt fur thear tee

Tak Cair mi fwreends,

Mr Winston xx

Right - I'm on at last and I want a word with you!! - It's Bella

I thought we had something special going and what do I find? - YOU ASKING ABOUT ANOTHER GIRL - who the heck is loocy, or loopy or whatever her name is anyway, and, what sort of a name is that!! I'm very, very hurt and angry and I bet it was you who stopped me getting on line just so you could chat to your ' bit of fur'. Well I'm here now so what have you got to say for yourself - it had better be good!! Perhaps its because I'm going to be 'sprayed' on Friday - do you think they'll spray me with something bad and I won't be pretty any more?

I hope you've got a good explanation because I'd love to help on your new thread -
Here's hoping

Barks and licks (just in case I am wrong) - Bella

Winston - Lucy is still very single - I don't fink any self-respecting dog would ave her. She is a bit weird and I fink that she doesn't know if she's a she-dog or a he-dog, coz she does roode fings to my Dad's leg . She also sometimes cocks her leg up ................... she is one strange dog.

She likes to dig and roll in the most stinky of stuff and den dares to come into our 'ouse and want to be cuddled. Mum marches her off for a baff and me an Millie sit downstairs and laff

I fink I came to the house just in time so that they know what a proper, gentleman of a dog iz like.

Wuv Heckie

PS Lucy sez she ain't fritened of no Bella Dog eiver



What a hussy

Deer Beela,

I iz nut beein unfateful. Loocy iz mi mait as shee weers er dungarees ant I weers mi teyet whyte troosers. We iz a speeshal pear of dawgies.

I stil luvs yoos dhe mos-*test*-('") tho, Beela. Mefinks dhe sprayin fing is good az it meens yoor boobies will staiy smal ant yoos wil nut ave poopies hazzling yoos. I az bin nootered ant dhat meens dhat I duz nut pee evweewear ant I luvs mi Mommy vwerry, vwerry mouch but in a plutonik wai. I dus nut do dhat hoomping fing. It iz vwerry mazculeene and coorse. I iz far mor reefindeded ant I az a teddee bare dhat I sleeps wiv.

Ello Kay-lun ant Daisy ant Ellie. Howz ar yoos dhis week?


Me ant Dinks went fur a big walkees todai to dhe skool in owr vilage. We sore sum smal peeps plaing neetbal. Thay ar Mommy's kiddys ant thay cam ant sed "ello" affta thayr match. I wuz qite soashabel az I liks bein fuzzled but Dinks joost wunted to go ant plai in dhe feelds. Todai, she bort Mommy a wrattie fing. It wuz deeded bi dhe time it got to Mommy.

I wuz nut appy az dhe fermer has pluffed mi feelds ant it iz clay ere sew it iz vwerry stikky. I ad a sit doon pro-*test*-('") in won feeld az I ad warked fur enuff. Dhen Mommy sed dhat I cud ave mi tee wen I got home sew I got oup ant trotted lik a gud boy at mi Mommy's heal. Mommy finks it wuz to heal but it wuz cus she ad trampleed dhe mud sew it duz nut stik in mi poors.

I az to go ant soopervize Mommy's tee maiking now as Da-Da iz awai ant dhat meens we get to sleeps on dhe big bed wiv our Mom but we ave to sooks oup to er first

Speek wiv yoos soon,

Mr Winston xx

Aalreet Mr Winston,
ahm just wondering why me mutha keeps brushing an taking things leik bits of heather oot of me fur ? does sheh knaa hoo long it takes me te collect those bits of twigs an stuff in me fur ernly fre hor te cut them oot !
Ah divvent understand those humans at aal , wor Nelly likes te try the la-*test*-('") fox perfume when wor oot bye rolen in it and wa mutha tells hor te stop wi divvent understand dyer ah i think Nelly smellz ok but badger poo is betta bit hard te come buy some times thou in thez parts, wor real favorite though has te be deed animals especially the ones wi maggots BUT what does mutha dee sheh baths weh sheh has ne idea hoo hard it is te find a rotten animal corpse,
well ah best gan noo an lie bi the fire an try te understand tha human owner of mein

bye fre noo
Daisy xx

Ps ah divvent fancy yee Mr Winston aa've me eye on labrador but he fancys wor Nelly so iz goina find me sel a rotten animal corpse coz i knw he winet be able to resizt me then !

goood morning Winston old chap - 'tis me Barnabee-bee or Barns as I'm known to my friends
I am of the older generation so I'm not good at this but our little girl is at the vets today so I thought - 'give it a go old bean'
Me old mum's a bit worried so I'm busy giving cuddles mind you it's rather nice to be quiet - I'm a bit long in the tooth for all this dashing about.
Now old lad - while I've got you on the blower I must just sort something out. Our young madam has given the impression that I'm 'a bit rough' and steal her things. Not true - I am an old english gentleman and treat her like a lady. It's just a bit hard sometimes keeping up with a whirlwind when the old pins are not so good.
Glad to have had a word with you. We'll let you know how the young lass gets on

Lots of barks - Barns

Deer Barnabee,

Peese send Beela lots ov luv frum me, Dinks and Mommy as we iz finking ov er todai.

Peese let uz no wen she iz home avter er sprayin.

Luv Winston xx

Deer Furry Frweends,

Joost to let yoos all no that mi mate Beela iz alwite avter er spraying oporatshun. Fwee chears fur Beela


I az ad a buzzy weekend- warking ant snuffling ant snoozzing. I az bin forzed to watch sum roogby wiv mi Da-da who seemz to get vwerry egsited ant showt at dhe TV. Me finks he wuz a bit politikaully encorect wen he showted "Cum on yoo Frogs" eifther dhat or he notised Dinks noo sport ov frog bate-ing in Mommy's bed ov flours. (Da-da dus nut lik all dhe flours in dhe gardin- I dus az dhey ar vwerry preetee ant pinkee. Da-da moons az he az to moo dhe grwass ant dhay git in hiz wai)

I wil speek to yoos soon,

Mr Winston xx

PS

Deer Daisee,

I dus nit udderstand yoor problem. Yoos reely need to speek wiv Tranny & Sushanannh (two vwerry well preezented Poodiles). They tellz me dhat yoo iz suposed to be baffed ant look vwerry preety az yoo iz a ladee dawg. Me finks dhat yoo iz a bit liks Dinks who alzo liks to get stuf in er fur- eespeshellie burhhs ant 'horns. Ar yoos triing to axessorrise?