I iz thinkin me mum woz jokin coz i as been avin cuddles all nite
oh no she iz wonting to types....

HOOOMAN ALERT!!!!....

I am very sorry winston if i have offended you...you are lovely and i would never do such a thing with ellie..she is my little star and even when she has a letter hanging from her mouth i cant help but laugh!

Mr W! Mr W!!!!

I fink dat cat's back!!!!!

I az postted Marlee. But dhay ar disapeering agin

I iz a bit bizzee todai but I wil tork to yoos lateer xx

glad you as it in and mr W, I was an ickle worried der, if you needs anywuff to bites dat cat for you, I iz your man! Yisterday dat pesky cat from behind me ouse came on me fence againa nd it wer spittin at me and tryin a swipe me. I didn't bank on me havin me Uncle Jason ere to frighten him doh!!

I iz busy today too, der is loads of ooomans in my ouse at the moment. De food is much betere dan usual, an de house is all clean!!!

Yisterday dey all went out and when dey came back dey was all happy, but dey stunks of smelly food and dirty beer! Now dey is all in bed still snoozin........



Der are more visitors cummin soon so I as to go everybody up and and get readies for dem, ave a good day Mr W.

Marlster

Deaawr Marlster

I fink your hoomans are havin a bit of a do. Dat's wot usually happens here when the place is all tidy and we ave to be gud.

I suggest you puts on your best behaviour an cu-*test*-('") looks as I fink there will be sum good scoffs available.

Love

Heckie

fanks ector datsgrate advice.

Now onlies Jen is outs of bed, what times douse you finks it is hacceptable to go and reminds de rest fo dem how cutes I iz?

also I finks deys all a bit rued actually coz when dey got ere dey was all stood in me kitchen and I stood in de middle and woofed and woofed at dem to get outta my way and dey didn't move a single inch! AND another fing, dey elps dem selves to me fridge! Even I dusn't does dat!


ggrrrrr......good scoffs doh....hhhmmmmmmm........

Firsts I duz ope I iz not stealing Winstons Blog coz he is a gud guy But diz advise is gud for all the time.

If your hoomans ave visitors it'z best not to jump up and woof at dem too much coz some daft hoomans are scared of dogz and sum juz dusn't like us (we will work on dat one ). If you looks cute and sitz next to em with your best "they nevva feed me" luk on you shud get some nice scoffs. If it iz a speshal hooman do they mite be dressed in ther best so no slobberin and try an keep yous hairs to yous self .

I find dat rollin over an showing my tummy for rubs workz well. So duz takin em a nice toy as a preserent - mak sure itz a 'nice' wun tho not one of your bes-*test*-('"), smelliest, chewiest ones

If you iz really gud you can win over dem dat is scared of us dogs - den you will be very speshal.

Be a bit careful on the posh nosh tho as sumtimes it can give you a dire rear

Heckie

Ecktor dat is sum great advice you az given i iz thinking bout remembering dat me self for footure refrance! I always likez to do the "they neva feed meee look" it works wonderers! I cant believe anyhoomsans wud be scared of us dogz we iz all highly intelagant and bootiful...stoopid hoomans!

If dey woz in me house i dont fink i could leave em alone til they ad given me a cuddol!

Dear Mista W and orl gud fwens

I as sortid da cat problem in mi howse



I chaysd her up da stairz an clowsed da drawer

regardz Jerry

we r invizable to - wot's da situasun

wil we alwayz be invizable

ooooh no, we lykz to be on here coz itz gud fun

heeeeeeeeellllllllp

Ello Jerry!

I as just come on ere to say well done for gettin dat cat problem sorted...what a gud job!

Smelly ellie x

Fanks Ector the Noble, dat was excellent hidvice! I got a lots of scoffs over de last few days buts I must says I iz glad dey as all gones and I gets me ouse to me self.

I wanted to asks you though, whats a dire rear? where does I gets one and whats dos it do?


Now I was finkin, if its ok for Jen and Chris to ave one of these ere "do's" den it musts be ok for me to as one to. Who fancies a sleeps over? ( with midnight feast of course!!!)

and Jerry, as you any spared drawers for my cat? I checked and de drawers ere all seems to be full!!


Marlster

Deer Marleestir,

Dire rear iz nut gud.
It iz wen yoos scoff too mouch rich fud or yoos raids dhe fud bin ant over indooljezz. It maiks yoor tum tums girdle, bot-bot sqeek, poof ant sqeert wiv poop dhat yoos can nut controle. Werst ov orl yoos cud looze yoor appitite ant dhe ooman giv yoos scrabble eggs or rice or boilled chuck to eat. Az dhat Jillin Mckeef sais, yoos shud have fud groops in balence or yoos cud get hi winds frum bohf endz. I duz nut wont her ere to inspekt my poops.

Luv frum,

Winston xx

Dat made me howl mister winstonz!

raids de fud bins, I az never tried dat but I'm gunna now, I dunt realise I could does dat.

Does youse use a plate, puts it in your bowl or just tips it ons the floor?

Mr W, you're full of such great ideas for hentertainment!