Carrot: Hello Mr. Kibble, thank you for joining me today.
Kibble: You're welcome. I must say though, I had to wait 6 weeks for this interview.
Carrot: Were you refrigerated?
Kibble: No, I don't have to be. Why do you ask?
Carrot: I read in your resume that you are made from natural chicken, animal fat, apples, cottage cheese, grains and many other perishable ingredients. How could you not spoil?
Kibble: This is going to be a hostile interview, isn't it?
Carrot: Would you please answer my question? All my friends would begin decay and rot in a few hours? How do you stay so...un-moldy?
Kibble: The people who make me wear white coats. I'm sure they know what they are doing. Besides, the research department worked really closely with marketing on this issue. Who made you?
Carrot: God
Kibble: Never heard of that company. But it's a catchy name - dog spelled backwards.
Carrot: Really, let's figure this out. Meat and fat- yet you never spoil. And you look so...inert.
Kibble: Well, I am naturally preserved. The purchasing department says I don't have to worry because the fat is loaded with preservatives from the rendering plant.
Carrot: But I thought you were all natural!
Kibble: The legal department looked into this and as long as our people with white coats just add a little Vitamin E and Rosemary it's OK to call me natural and I never go bad because there's enough preservative in the fat that comes from the rendering plant to keep me from going bad.
Carrot: So even though you're 'natural' you could be loaded with preservatives from your suppliers?
Kibble: That's right.
Carrot: I still think there's something else - you never go bad at room temperature?
Kibble: Well, there is more. I am so highly heated and processed that all the 'life' goes out of me. In a sense- I die and become a new molecular substance that is called 'inert'. I am no longer 'food' as you know it.
Carrot: Err...sounds cool. But now that you're dead and inert, who would want to eat you?
Kibble: You mean you've never heard of 'protein digest' spray? After I come out of the extruder I'm sprayed with an irresistible protein digest and vitamin mix. It's all approved by our in-house vet. We pay him $90,000 dollars a year to make sure I'm nutritionally complete.
Carrot: But underneath that spray you're dead and inert!
Kibble: That's the coolest part! The finance department figured this out. It's called 'fixed price'. I really wish I had thought of this.
Carrot: You're inert. You can't think. What is fixed price?
Kibble: Fixed price is a great marketing tool so I cost the exact same amount each week in the retail store. It all ties together because I can be kept in warehouses for months to take advantage of good pricing.
Carrot: But your ingredients can't possibly stay the same price from week to week. The market fluctuates all the time.
Kibble: Not a problem! Let's say the price of chicken goes up. The people in white coats just reduce the chicken and add fillers that keep the cost the same. They have complete control over the gross profit. The shareholders LOVE this because they can always make their car payments right on schedule. The other option is 'fixed formula' but that was voted down because we couldn't compete if the price keeps changing. Adjusting the formula is easy!
Carrot: But what about nutrition??
Kibble: Remember, I'm dead and inert so in a sense it doesn't matter what goes into me. After I'm processed, heated and extruded, it's really that magic spray that gives me all the nutrition. Besides, dog's have livers and immune systems to remove the other stuff.
Carrot: Wow. is that 'natural'??
Kibble: Sure. soak me in a glass of water and you'll see I break down into a pasty brown substance. It's an earth tone - very natural.
Carrot: I'm looking real closely. All I see is a brown pasty substance. Where are the meat, fat, apples, cottage cheese and grains?
Kibble: You don't know anything, do you? That's where the graphics department comes in. Didn't you see the full color photo of the chickens, apples and other fresh ingredients nicely printed on the bag? They show me on the cover, not as I actually am, but as people would expect me to be...That packaging costs a small fortune. Legal says it's OK.
Carrot: That's comforting. If your lawyer says its OK then I feel much better. What about wholesome ingredients and freshness?
Kibble: Those are just 'concepts' that people have come up with - I'm convinced that if your packaging and marketing materials are really good then we can overcome anything. That's why we pay those marketing people what we do!
Carrot: Listen, I'm beginning to feel a little funny around the edges
so I have to go back in the fridge. Thanks for stopping by!
Kibble: My pleasure.

AMEN!!!

Eileen you beat me to it, I was just about to post this, it got me thinking all over again!!!

Makes you think doesn't it!

Where did you see this as it is really good? I would like to accidentally email it to my friend who never wastes an opportunity to say how bad feeding RAW is!!

PMSL only raw feeders could possibly appreciate this

Someone on BritBarf posted this today, so I suppose fifer got it from there.

Kibble being dead ... how true...and the advertising sounds like fooling people, doesn't it?

No supposition about it - I did, but it wasn't their copyright, it originally came from the UK website Campaign for Real Pet Food who are no doubt enjoying it's popularity as it spreads the message. It's now widely copied all over the internet, probably because a good sense of humour is always the best way of getting your point across! I just hope it makes a few more people realise what they are feeding their dogs.

Many barf/rmb feeding members here on ST are members of Britbarf, it's a very informative list and always up to date with news and views. Well worth joining if you want to raw feed, as all the important topics are archived for use later.

I was going to join britbarf, but it asked me so many questions before I joined I thought id do it later, and never got round to it lol

"Hey... hey ....hey" say Harry..... "I luvs me kibble" ........
stomps off to start the we love kibble campaign

sounds like a secret society

I thought, let me in and we can chat about it then lol

Like it

Kibble does feed and sustain dogs and will keep them healthy and all of the info tells you that your dog will be bouncy happy and full of life ... well until at least 7 years old after 7 years on kibble they will prob need a little help.. ie teeth bad so cant crunch any more(unless you have loads of money and can pay your vet to de scale their teeth and hopefully get rid of the periodontics disease )The pet industry have found the answer for this pay 3 or 4 pound in money for a synthetic bone or use a toothbrush and doggy toothpaste to clean your dogs teeth. Do not give them a Real Bone to eat and chew on though this might hurt them .Old dogs put them on senior a easier kibble that they don't have to use their teeth for. Overweight dog they have also the answer and kibble for , Vegi dogs when would a dog ever say they were vegetarians... for.... sake .dogs are carnivores

We are all sucked into adverts sadly the dog/cat/ any domestic pet has not benefited from it. There are many rich people that have benefited from our dogs eating the waste that we humans couldn't get rid of and have turned it into a very lucrative market called the pet industry.
Who cares what dogs eat.... they are only dogs who cares if they die young ???????
Well my two are Raw Fed .. I may be sucked into the buy one get one free at the supermarket lol but nothing will change my views on feeding my two RMBs